use condom to prevent pregnancy, idiot.

It is really really really disturbing to read the news about baby dumping now and then. These 'unwanted' babies not only dumped into trash bins, left at the mosque, by the road side or in the toilet or any other unthinkable places, but also some of them killed unintentionally. Or intentionally! gosh. It really has come to the limit. That is too much.



But sadly, ironically, or stupidly our self-righteous community still in a state of denial. Most of us cry foul every time such heart-wrenching things make the news. Not to mention those which didn't make it to the news and remained unknown.

This is what happen when we let those not wanting to have babies, to get pregnant and give birth. It's that simple.

The questions that are worth to look into are: why are they committing unlawful pre-marital sex, why the unprotected one, why not resort to legal abortion, and why can't they just let the babies being taken care of and live?

Some of us might blame them, the ones who did it. But it's obviously not totally their fault, but ours! No thanks to the hardship ones have to go through to get married, the complicated and expensive wedding, and the stigma that young unwed mothers have to face.

I said earlier that we are in denial because some of us won't admit that the usage and promotion of protections e.g. condoms can reduce the number drastically. Compare Malaysia with any western country. Those countries openly allow free sex and we say it is a bad western culture. But with cases of baby-dumping on the rise, what kind of better culture we have here? From this comparison we can see that the aetiology of this epidemic is not from the so called free sex itself but the ignorance that wearing protection and practising safe sex cam cure this 'disease'.

Our self-conscious friends and family worry so much that condom will promote free sex, which they worry so much about, apparently more than the fact that many innocent lives being dumped and some even murdered by those heartless murderer!

it's a relieved that there are some quarters aware of this fact and also pushing for the promotion of the usage of condom although some are against it.

So dear friends, I think it's about time to put our idiocy aside and remind each other to wear protection to prevent the unwanted pregnancy. Yeah, there must be other solutions to tackle this as most of us think but to ignore this one is moronic.

Prevention is better than cure.

the break-up

This is not easy. I have been trying to do this for the past several months. I think I have to do this. Just for once.

Me and my girlfriend, we broke-up.

Phew. There I said it. It is very embarrassing, because many of my posts in this blog are about her. I blogged when I met someone I think “I kinda like”, I blogged when we became boyfriend and girlfriend, and the last one I wrote about how a couple in relationship should be together for the rest of time, to stay in the relationship even when the excitement slowly disappears and that love build to last forever. Now it hit me back right in the face.

Serve me right. Some things are easier said than done.

The decision to break up was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. Sheis someone I promised myself the only one I will marry. And honestly I was still in love with her when I reluctantly decided to end the relationship.



Now, after almost 4 months since we broke up, I still unable to totally get over it. It affects me quite badly, consumes lots of energy, time and attention. But a decision has to be made even though it hurts when it’s for the best.

Talking about this makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. For the reason why we break-up, I don’t think I should announce it here in this blog. But all I want to say is that, when in love, you want to make the person you love, happy. But one thing I’m sure you shouldn’t ignore is your own happiness. You should be happy too or else it’s not going to work.

Now I’m not looking forward to be in any relationship anymore, or just yet. I will concentrate on my study and help my family financially first.

love built to last

Sometimes breaking something is easier than making it. Or maybe for most of the time.

Same thing in relationship. Starting to know each other and beginning to like your partner is really exciting. Especially the part when we like somebody and that somebody likes us back. The feeling is so great that we feel like we're flying high in the air and there are flowers in our heart that begin to blossom.

Then we confess to each other about our feelings, about how strong our loves are to her/him. And we become girlfriend and boyfriend. We are the happiest person on earth.

But what is harder is to stay together for as long as it can be. I have friends who were together as a couple. They started their relationship like two years ago and it wasn't the easy one. They had to overcome many hindrances. But the strong of a love is invincible. Their relationship went quite well.. until recently. They broke-up. They guy said he doesn't have the feeling anymore. That's all.

I honestly understand how hard it is to make the excitement we had in the beginning to stay put. It requires patience. Me and my girlfriend, sometimes we have this 'silent' phase, an awkward moment. when we rarely talk to each other. and get annoyed by each other easily. But I try not to keep it like that for too long. And sometimes if it wasn't me, she will be the one who approaches me first.

So, relationship is really a two way process. it's like trying to make a sound by clapping which you need both of your hands. it takes two to tango.

A lesson learned for me. To be careful, to keep this relationship as long as possible or as long as eternity as I hope it would.

ubu's first 'love'

Ubu is a cat I adopted 6 months ago.

Now she has grown up and not a kitten any more. The necklace with a bell I bought seems like tightened around her neck already. The bell supposed to be green in colour turned goldish brown now.

what bothers me now is that she wants to make love. when I was just arrived home I notice there were five male cats waiting outside for my cute little ubu. she's too young for that. and ubu which was inside the house looked so horny. man, she didn't know that if she does that she'll get pregnant. and she's too young for that.



she has a boyfriend since a long time ago but she never showed any interest to actually 'make love' to him. but now she seems really into it. and not with her similar-age-boyfriend. but to several huge old cats which I always chased away when they caught peeking on my cat when ubu was small (gosh paedophiles!!)

my previous cat at my previous house, Luna also did the same thing. she was barely big enough to have babies. she ended delivered 3 kittens but 2 of them died. I brought luna to a veterinarian and it turned out that Luna didn't has milk to milk her kittens. Luna fell in love again and her kittens neglected.

last night Ubu was grounded. I closed all the windows that she normally use to get out. she looked desperate but I have to do the best thing for her. she has to wait for few more months for that. and today I did the same thing. she looked so horny and refused to eat. she looked terribly need some physical.

just now my house-maid was sweeping and cleaning our house and she opened the door widely and Ubu ran out. I noticed that but I just let her go. Maybe I don't really know what is best for her. maybe I should let the nature works by its own way. and let ubu be happy and fulfil her.. err need.

Prayers answered

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Honestly all this is unexpected.

I still remember when I was single, how I reacted when my closest friends asked me when will I find my life companion/girlfriend. I told them that I would only be concentrating on my study and that I was in no rush of finding one yet. If they insisted I told them not to worry because I’ll be seriously involved in serious relationship when I’m 29 years old. That was my plan.

But love is something mysterious and unexpected. And I seriously don’t know how to describe it when you like somebody and all of sudden your life purpose changed, which is to make that somebody, happy.

I read back my previous posts in this blog which I wrote about her. I couldn’t help but to smile. And embarrassed of how silly I was. Started with post title ‘kinda’ then followed by other posts. (title: I am crazy. Am I not?, ah perfect, she’s my girlfriend now!, and the best birthday present ever)



Now it is almost two years since we started to get to know each other. How we started chatting on IM. I still remember the time when I was asking her phone number for the first time. My heart beating so fast that it almost out ran my body’s ability to contain it. And she looked surprised and hesitated to give it haha.

Thinking about this I know exactly who I should be thanking to. It is Allah swt. One and the only God. The Creator of everything that we can see and that we can’t. And the One who plans and make it happens. Thanks to God.

Then I realised, since I was young, I always ended my 5-time prayers with a dua asking God to give me a wife he pleases one day. Just didn’t expect to be this fast. Ermm..Not too fast actually right. Just perfect. Perfect timing. God know best.

it has been a year.

On December 9th last year, my beloved girlfriend, Izzati turned 23 years old. It reminded me that it has been already a year since the day when I started to… approach her. If you’re my follower sure u must have read my post about it. Which I wrote about how I had a certain particular feeling towards this girl who I thought was medically not suitable with me haha.

It has been a year. Glad she’s my girlfriend now. Everything went well so far. Even though sometimes I think I’m expecting too much from her. But what is the most important thing is that, I found out that she’s not as perfect as I think. She’s better than that! I love her so much. I’m quite sure she is someone I want to live with till the end of my life. Or forever.

the best birthday present ever!

Now I am 23 years old. One year older than a week ago.

And it was my best birthday ever. My first time celebrating birthday as a someone's boyfriend. :)

Actually my friends already celebrated my birthday 1 week earlier, together with my other two friends who were also born in this month. We went karaoke. It was so much fun!

Me and her, we sang the titanic song~

A few days ago, on my birthday, my girlfriend and I went out to Sun Plaza for dinner. Even though it was raining, she didn't mine of sticking to the plan. I was so happy. And what made me even more happier is the fact that she didn't go to her aikido class that night. It makes me feel special and also stupid for thinking thinking that she cares more about her aikido than me. haha

And she gave me the best present ever. It's a book.

To be honest, I already got my bestest birthday's present ever. ever! and it's her herself~

I love her!

this is funny

A few days ago after I posted my previous post, my girlfriend and I, we went to see a movie. Then on our way to get there, when we're actually on a beca, I asked her what she thinks about my blog.

And she said: "lots of grammatical mistakes".

haha!!

she's my girlfriend now!

Guys guys, I have  good news to tell. At least for me haha.

Last night, I told the girl, which I have been crazy over for the last few months, about this blog.



And I had to tell her about this blog that because.. wait for it, she is officially my girlfriend now :)

After have been very close to her for quite sometimes, we’re finally officially (?) in a special relationship, starting 22nd of March 2009. And I was the happiest man that evening to learn that she said yes to my question whether she would like to be my girlfriend. And still am happy till now. I am glad and thankful and humbled by this. And I am so lucky too.

Lucky indeed! To have her as my girlfriend. She is my first girlfriend and my last. Hopefully we will spend the rest of our life together.

Thanks to God!

ah! perfect.

I am so happy.

Haha. the first time when I started blogging, I did it because I was frustrated and sad. And this site will be the place where I throw out everything.

But now, I blog about how happy I am right now. yes, me is happy.

I just got back from a date, with her. It was like the best outing ever in my life, really. She's perfect. We ate Korean food at her favourite restaurant. I never enjoy eating so much like I did just now. The food was really, really really nice.

Then we had ice cream. I know, this might sound like I'm exaggerating it, but I loved the ice cream so much that I was thinking to buy another one haha.

Then we watched a movie. It was great, the story is about three journalists trying to catch the Bosnia war criminal.

And the highlight of the night was.. she herself. hehe. Her presence was really something that make me so glad and happy. =p

ah! perfect evening~

i am crazy. am i not?

Hmm I don't know how to begin with haha. Okay, remember the girl that I was talking about? The one that me and me friends celebrated her birthday? Ala... the one that I blogged about under title of 'kind of'

Okay if you remember now then good.

Me and her. we are getting closer now. And I just can't help but to tell the world that I like her a lot! Yes, a lot!!! :)

I'm dating her now. We went out together. Sitting in class next to each other. And talk on the phone, texting. Wow. I just don't know how to describe how I feel right now. I am so glad that she is my friend. I want her to be my best friend, ..or more!

It's just nice to just to look at her. or to listen to her voice.

Haha. I'm crazy. Okay lah! Enough for now.

kind of

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Hmmm

Last night was awesome. We were celebrating someone's birthday. To make it short, I kind of like her.

Kind of.

Because I don't really believe in love after the first sight. For me. Love is something that we develop over time. You know, something like the more we get to know each other.. the deeper the feeling of ____ we feel. Chewah.. in this case like building the bridge la..

And to be honest, the more I know about her. the more I like about her. For or now I can say that I like her as a friend. Not more than that. 

And more important is... she. She must likes me too . or else this relationship is not gonna go anywhere.

And I don't want to be selfish and force her to accept me in case one day my feelings toward her will be very strong.

But, here’s the downside... we’re both are not really suitable for each other medically. I have asthma and she has it too.

Let’s leave it to God to decide.. And we human. Lets hope for the best. While preparing for the worst.