feeling blue.

I don't know what is happening to me right now, I'm kind of feeling blue. I'm a happy person for most of the time, sometimes it shows and sometimes it's within. But now it's neither.

I think without me knowing it, I'm a bit stressed. I think I'm too tired. I just want a long holiday. Without having anything much to worry about. I want all these things that I have to go through everyday to stop. I'm exhausted of worrying too much.

I want all these to end. Maybe I just want to have somebody here that I can talk to, more than the regular what's-going-ons, about something else, that even me don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just lonely.

Maybe seeing sick people everyday is depressing. Having someone else to control your life is annoying. Having lots of thing you have to know is worrying. Having exams now and then is tiring.

Maybe seeing how unfair the world is adding more stress. Maybe I should stop thinking too much, though it happens everyday in front of my eyes. Maybe I should just have faith in God. Maybe I should try to.

I'm hoping that this phase of my life to end soon. It's been too many years. It's not that life here is too miserable or what. It's just that.. sigh!

The only things that make me happy right now are The big bang theory and How I met your mother. They make me forget what's happening for awhile and make me laugh.

I'm gonna regret writing this. haha.

smoking is idiotic

The first thing that disappoints me when I first got here in 2006 was the fact that there are quite a number of medical students who smoke cigarettes. Some of them smoke openly in the no-smoking area like inside campus.

Not only locals, Malaysian students also seem like enjoying the 'opportunity' given as many of them are smokers, some have just picked up the habit here.

Not only that cigarettes are available almost everywhere, these young smokers are also influenced socially plus with the fact that big tobacco companies are still allowed to advertise their products widely here.

I really think that those young people born in the late 20th century, growing up and living with a well known fact that smoking scientifically proven to be fatal, are totally idiot to be smoking. There are also massive campaigns warning about the danger of smoking. Yet they let themselves addicted to the nicotine that comes with other carcinogenic substances.

Smoking is forbidden in Islam. Off course those addicted to it will come up with many excuses to justify their 'harmless' or 'beneficial' habit.

What happened to me earlier today triggered me to write this. I was in a air-conditioned room with several people smoking in it. I felt like a guinea pig, put in a closed box filled with cigarette's smoke to see the how many ways I can die. I'm not exaggerating.

If you still choose to be a smoker, please at least think about others who are not, have some considerations and ethical values.

"Do no harm, yourself or others"- Prophet Muhammad pbuh.