being alone again, but that's alright.

-->It’s semester break. All my closest friends are already went back home right now, to their hometown in Malaysia. Except me. I stay here. I do not go back because… I don’t think I have enough money to spend on the flight ticket and to pay for the expensive immigration thingy. Plus the holiday is not that long. Only for two weeks. So I decided not to go back.

Afiq was the last one to go back to Malaysia. I started to be alone after he went back last week. All my other friends have already gone back earlier. Me and Afiq we always have certain issue which sometimes put us in a… not-so-cool situation. We used to be very close before those ‘issues’ came up. I’m not going to babble about this in here. But I’m glad now since things since have been worked out a bit now. Or, maybe I’m just happy because with him, it’s always easier to go simply anywhere compare with people who always have reasons to not to-do or not to-go. We went the beach one day before he gone back. I love beach. And the view. And the breeze. Everything.

Now, here I am. Alone in my house. Like the previous times when I was alone during the holiday, the early part was the hardest. But as times goes… I’ll get used to it. And later enjoyed it. Enjoyed being alone and that I can spend all the time just by myself and for my self.

Somehow, this is the first time that I am completely alone as there are no more cats around. They were such great companion and friends. I remember.



But it is okay. Now, unlike those times, I have my computer with me. It is not that quiet anymore. And I can watch some movies to keep me sane. Or write some nonsense like I do now without having to go to the internet café.

it has been a year.

On December 9th last year, my beloved girlfriend, Izzati turned 23 years old. It reminded me that it has been already a year since the day when I started to… approach her. If you’re my follower sure u must have read my post about it. Which I wrote about how I had a certain particular feeling towards this girl who I thought was medically not suitable with me haha.

It has been a year. Glad she’s my girlfriend now. Everything went well so far. Even though sometimes I think I’m expecting too much from her. But what is the most important thing is that, I found out that she’s not as perfect as I think. She’s better than that! I love her so much. I’m quite sure she is someone I want to live with till the end of my life. Or forever.

disappoinment.

--> I will be entering a full clinical course next year. I’m so worried. I know that I’m not fully ready for that. There are so many things that I must know but I don’t. Thinking about this really worries me. I just hope that everything will goes well for me.

Looking back at those 3 years that I have spent here on theory, I am disappointed with my performance. I don’t know why but I just couldn’t be as good as I hope. I think that wasn’t my very best. I can do better than that. But it’s too late now. To mourn or complaining too much about things that I can’t change.

Anyway, I’m glad that my research is done and I passed. Even though I faced a lot of problems and hindrances. Even though I’ve been attacked with lots of question on the seminar day, my research, ‘pregnancy and its risk of being diagnosed in later clinical and histopathologic stage in breast cancer patients in H. Adam Malik hospital Medan: a cross sectional study, is accepted.

I passed all the exams too. But, to be honest I feel sad with my performance as the results are just enough to passed me… all I got are C C C or C+. Sigh.

Dear reader, if there’s any, please pray for me. So that everything will be just fine during the hospital training soon.

about last raya

It was the best aidilfitri I’ve ever had. May be because hadn’t really celebrating it for quite a while. It was so much fun.

I was lucky. Some of my friends, Syaza, Naim and Jalal were also on the boat on the way to Penang. The journey took more than six hours. From Penang, I took a bus to go to Taiping where my parents will fetch me up to take me home.

It was early in the morning when I left my house in Medan which later I took a bus from Medan to Belawan port before I got in the boat. I arrived home in Lenggong, in the state of Perak at midnight.

I helped my father with his kuih/cake selling at the Ramadan bazaar. I really missed doing that for a very long time. And I did some raya shopping, played some firecrackers, and helped my mother made some raya delicacies.


My mother’s birthday on 1st of Syawal.

Then it came the raya day. It was really a busy day. Started with some children coming in groups then later families of relative coming endlessly till night. I was really exhausted but it was worth the fun.


Visited our late grandparents after eid prayer.


 With my father.


 With my mother.

On second day, I went out with friends all day long. We visited all of our friends’ houses. Until night, it was more than ten houses we visited. Glad to see old friends and how much they’ve changed. Most of them are already working.


With friends.

Third day, I hanged out with my family. We visited our relatives’ houses.

The holiday was short. I went back to Indonesia after I renewed my passport. Also by boat travelling across the straits of melaka. This time I was alone. Unfortunately it took more than ten hours on the sea. I’m quite sure; it will be my last time to be on a ferry ride.

raya holiday!

I will be going back to Malaysia for raya holiday in ten days, on 17th of august to be exact.

To be honest I did not really have any plan for this. Even though ever since I started studying here in Indonesia, never have I went back home for raya. But this time it will be different. After celebrated raya (wasn’t really celebrating in here haha) for three times in the row, finally this year, I’m heading for my hometown.

I’ve told my mother that I’m coming back home this raya, but it seems like she wasn’t really excited about it. Haha.

Actually I’m kind of ‘have to’ go back since I have been told by the immigration department here to renew my passport as soon as I can.

My passport will expires on august 2011 but since I’m renewing my KITTAS or temporary residence card for another two year, the expiry date is not in the ‘save’ range haha. So I need to renew my passport.

And the nearest holiday is this coming raya holiday. Yeay. Finally I’m going back for raya! Yeay.

I am so glad. I missed celebrating raya in my hometown so much. I missed all those raya delicacies, raya songs, and exciting TV programs. Even though I don’t really enjoy visiting relatives much haha.


I’ll be going back by ferry (or more like a speed boat I think) from Belawan to Penang which will takes 5-6 hours. And I don’t mind. It’s the cheapest. Hahaha.

Si Tua

Setelah aku selesai menoleh ke kanan dan ke kiri memberi salam, mata aku tertumpu pada seorang tua yang sedang kusyuk beribadat. Aku tersedar akan kehadiran dia di dalam masjid ini sejak beberapa malam sebelum ini. Entah kenapa tanpa sebab yang pasti, hati aku luluh ketika terlihat kelibat si tua ini yang terbongkok berdiri di hadapan Tuhannya.

Rukuk dan berdirinya si hamba Allah ini sudah tiada banyak bezanya lagi. Hatiku sedih bercampur terharu. Dengan keadaannya yang serba lemah dan tua, si tua ini tetap istiqamah dalam ibadatnya kepada Yang Satu.

Setiap kali sesudah selesai bacaan doa selepas solat witir, si tua ini akan bersusah-payah, sedaya-upaya berusaha untuk bangun dan bersalam dengan jemaah yang lain. Kadang, oleh kerana pergerakannya yang sangat lambat, dia hanya mampu berjabat tangan dengan dua atau tiga orang sahaja.

Mulai semalam aku cuba untuk duduk dekat dengannya, entah kenapa, aku tak pasti.

Pernah suatu ketika, selepas pulang dari masjid, aku menukar pakaian dan bersiap-siap untuk keluar rumah. Dalam perjalananku keluar aku terlihat susuk tubuh yang sangat aku kenal, si tua itu, masih dalam perjalanannya pulang dari masjid, bergerak perlahan setapak demi setapak dengan wajah yang hampir menyembah tanah.

Aduh, lagi hatiku remuk. Betapa kudrat si dia yang satu ini tak pernah menjadi halangan untuk ke rumah Allah.

Malam pertama Ramadhan aku pernah berfikir, adakah aku mahu ke masjid ataupun tidak. Di hati berasa malas tak semena-mena. Cukuplah solatku cuma seorang-seorang di bilik tidur, berkata aku dibenakku.

Apakah jadahnya? Aku yang muda ni malas. Padahal si tua dgn keadaannya yang tak mengizinkan, tekad ke sana.

Nasibku baik. Status facebookku dibalas dengan nasihat daripada teman-teman:






Mohd Uda
I am thinking whether want to go to the mosque for tarawih or not. it's 1st of Ramadan tonight.


21 August at 18:33 via Twitter ·
comments:



don think...juz go



g je uda..



must go!!!!!!



isk2...nak jmpa awek xyah pikir nak p ke xnak...tp nak p solat tarawih pun nak kena pikir byk mcm ni...xkan la nak tggu umur 50 bru xyah pikir kot 2pun kalu sempat...beribadatlah kamu seperti itu adalah ibadat terakhir kamu...



gi r...pemalas...cube r jd mcm aku



hehe insaf plak dgr murshikidal bg ceramah. alar ingat nak wat kat rumah jer 1st night. kat masjid ramai org sgt la awal2 ni.. =p



bagos la jemaah ramai..ape la uda ni...



btol2.g jemaah tau ude.klau blh g jd imam trus.lg bgus..



baiklah kawan2 ku. trima kasih atas nasihat. td memang cam 75% malas nak gi, skrg da tggl 10%. jom gi masjid! :)


Alhamdulillah~ =p